Today would have been glorious if I didn’t live where I do. Perhaps I need to look with new eyes - all I am reminded of is how much I dislike where I live, how trapped I feel, suffocated. So, why am I here? There is no excuse. Why do I put myself through this? What am I waiting for? My life to start? Maybe I will be moving this year afterall, but it will be someplace far, far away from here.

March will mark a year I’ve lived here and for now I’m content. I can’t say that I won’t move this year because sometimes it happens so fast that I don’t have time to think.

Sometimes I wish for a ”home” (although I always refer to home as a place within) but I think you have to accept what you have and know how to make it work for you. I have no ties to bricks and I am finding it so difficult to understand why people do. I’m losing that conventional world that I grew up in and I like it.  Sometimes life has a way of giving you exactly what you need, what you need right now and preparing you for what you will need in the future. 

Revenge? Why? Why waste your energy? Let go and live. And live really well!

I cannot be defined by another.

I know it cannot be good when you are surrounded by friends and they feel like complete strangers. Perhaps it’s time I face the reality that I have outgrown my friends.

Life goes on, everything is normal and in silence I remain. I watch as the world goes by, isolated in this pain. Time has stopped. The same day is replayed. There is no mention of you, you don’t exist.